Lessons Learned

Fifty Shades of Beige and Why 50 is the New 30

This post has nothing to to do with Fifty Shades of Grey. My page views have been down lately and I wanted to see if this would stir some interest.

But it does have to do with turning fifty. Not me of course. I’d like to discuss other people who have recently turned fifty.

Take my husband, for example, who just turned the golden age. Luckily on his birthday he didn’t have an enormous amount of ear hair that needed clipping… (Actually, at forty he got that under control.)

…Or a sudden desire to wear black socks with sandals… (although it does seem to be a new fad at the middle school. See my son below.)

But he does ask our kids to read the small print on just about everything to him and he says he’ll pay them 50 cents a toe to clip his toenails. (Bad hip prevents him from that chore.)

But other than that, 50 was just like the 49 years and 364th day of his life. We’ll see what it does to me. I’ll find out sooner than later.

I thought I was only 48 until I bought my sister a Happy 50th Birthday card. My daughter asked, “Didn’t we celebrate her 50th birthday last year?”

“Crap! that means I’m 49 this year!” I said.

“I thought you said 50 was the new 30,” she reminded me.

“That’s right! Fifty is the new 30, only better!”

Looking fit is no longer a necessity.  If I were to lose too much weight what would I do with all those shorts and pants with stretched-out elastic?I couldn’t possibly keep them up.

And when I forget things I no longer blame my ADHD (which no one was buying anyway – it’s way over used), but instead I blame my early onset Alzheimer’s.

And when my middle schooler does something stupid I can say, “Hey, I’m the kid’s grandma. Take it up with his mother.”

Yeah, I’m gonna be just fine. And…

it beats the alternative. 🙂