Better Late Than Never

…may be a matter of opinion

I recently joined the 21st century. I now have a Facebook page. (Of course, now that I have Facebook page, I will from here on refer to Facebook as fb.)

My friend, Gail (yes, the same Gail  – the one who only recently gave up swinging by Quick Trip to pick up day laborers to do yard work) suggested I get into fb. She pointed out the benefits of connecting with old friends, staying in touch with current friends, and getting more exposure for my blog.

Right from the start I could tell fb was a monster that I would have to control or it would control me.

After one day of being on fb, it has swallowed me. I can’t just friend someone; I have to look at the pictures of their trip to the coast two summers ago, read all  the comments left on their wall, and google their favorite musical group. I asked my daughter, “How do you manage this? How do you balance life, work, and fb?” She sheepishly asked, “Remember that C in math I made that one semester?”

I decided that I wouldn’t make a friend request or accept a  friend request if the friend had more than 400 friends. It was clear to me in those cases the person didn’t really want a friend, they wanted to collect friends. Kind of like beany babies. No thank you.  But then my husband reminded me that in addition to finding friends, I wanted exposure to my blog, feedback on my writing, and to build a platform for the book I someday hope will get published. So I changed the friend ceiling to 1,500 and set an age minimum of 30. I didn’t want it to ever be said that my writing contributed to the delinquency of a minor. I have to have some principles.

Technology baffles me. This is where having your own kid starts to pay off. I asked my daughter, “So let me ask you – If I put a picture on my page, who sees it?”

“All of your friends.”

“Okay. If I type a message on someone’s wall, who sees that?”

“All of their friends.”

“Got it.  If I friend someone and then later decide to de-friend them, I can do that, right?”

“Yes. And it’s called remove as a friend or unfriend.”

“Perfect. Wait a minute – are you saying that someone can decide they don’t want to be my friend anymore and all they have to do is click a button?”

“Yes.”

“Well, that’s just mean. How do I put a bunch of pictures up?”

Then she said, “You know if you really want to learn something well, you have to figure things out for yourself.”

“Whatever.” I can’t believe she was using my words against me.

I’m not a “teach me how to fish” kind of person. I’m more of a “just give me the stinking fish” kind of person. Fishing is so messy. Fbing isn’t as easy as people would have you think. When I uploaded a picture of my daughter to the wrong place (I meant for it to go to an Album, but it went to my Wall), I didn’t want people to think I was favoring her over my son, so I uploaded a picture of him to the same wrong place.

Then I discovered I should have included my maiden name on my profile so friends from way, way back could find me. I would like that. My junior high years were known as my very unattractive years. I would like for those people to know I’ve made some improvements since then. Also, I had some really bad haircuts from that difficult period. I don’t know why nobody tried to talk me out of the Dorothy Hamil cut.

I think I may have insulted a new friend with something I wrote on their wall. Apparently, when you hit the ENTER button, you can’t get it back.

That’s why I like blogging. You type and upload all behind the scenes and then when you have things just right, you push PUBLISH. If later you discover you shouldn’t have said what you said about your mother-in-law or crazy Uncle Pete, you can hit EDIT, correct the problem, and hit UPDATE. No one has to know – except for the two people who email you asking if you really meant to offend Uncle Pete in your blog.

What did people do before fb? How did they communicate? That’s right…the phone. I’m not much of a phone talker.  Someone calls you and tells you what’s going on with them and then they’re quiet. That’s your cue to tell them what’s been going on with you. Then there’s this awkward silence because no one wants to appear rude and say they have better things to do and need to get off the phone.

I like emailing, texting, and fbing. I can type for hours, especially now that I have a carpel tunnel brace for both hands.

I appreciate what I’ve learned from texting. My struggles with how to spell “yeah” (rhymes with “hay”) are over. I never knew if it was “yeah” or  “yea”. Apparently the texting public has decided it is “yay”. I like that.

I do, however, have one texting pet peeve. I don’t like it when someone responds to my text with only “k”. It’s just disrespectful. Is it really that hard to add an “o” to the “k” ?

So there it is. The blog for today. No Life Lesson. No Parenting Pearl. No Marriage Mint. Sorry….but I do have a really good pimento cheese recipe. It is perfect. You can eat it with crackers with one hand and update your fb page with the other. See it below.

And if there’s anyone out there who went to Conway Jr. High, it’s Dana SMITH Edwards. K?

I’m not certain, but I think I just heard the sound of de-friend clicks by my picture. I’m pretty sure one of them was my daughter. I’ll be back to just 25 friends in no time.

If you have an interesting fb story, I’d love to hear it. Leave a comment.

Note: Keebler Wheatable Nut Crisps crackers are really good with this (they are a little pricey, but I saw a $1.00 off two boxes coupon on the boxes at the store today). Shred your own cheese rather than use pre-shred packaged cheese. It will be worth the effort. Also, pimento cheese tastes a lot better when it is closer to room temperature rather than right out of the frig.

Pimento Cheese

Ingredients: 2 cups of shredded Sharp cheese, 1 cup of Monterey Jack cheese, 1 cup of Colby cheese, 2 tablespoons of chopped roasted red peppers, 1 tablespoon of finely grated onion, 2 ounces of cream cheese, 1 cup of mayonnaise (a little less or a little more depending on taste and the time you have available for the treadmill), salt and pepper to taste.

Pimento Cheese with Roasted Red Pepper

Combine all ingredients well. Servc with crackers or on bread with sliced tomatoes.

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